A month with Voldie
by Bellamort500
Summary: Sequel to Never mess with Pranksters or Bookworms. When Voldemort kidnaps Hermione and the twins as a plan to lure Harry, he expected scared children not annoying brats.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Lord Voldemort had a plan, kidnap Potters friends and lure him into a trap.

Now he had the Granger girl and the Weasley twins at headquarters he expected them to be Petrified kids, but instead they were acting like they wanted to be there

'Voldie is it true that your in love with Dumbledore?' Hermione asked

'No it isn't true, I hate the old man' Voldemort said looking disgusted at the thought of being in love with Dumbledore.

'Thats kind of mean' Hermione said pouting slightly

'Shut up' Voldemort snarled

'Somebody has an attitude problem' George said pointing at Voldemort

'Bad Voldie' Fred said grinning

'You know I could kill you' Voldemort said glaring

'Yeah, but Harry wouldn't come if we were dead' Hermione told him

'So you need us alive' Fred said smirking

'I suppose you could torture us, but Dumbledore would then think we gave information out under tortured and would make sure Harry didn't come to rescue us' George pointed out

'So you have no choice, but to keep us alive and healthy' Hermione told him grinning.

Voldemort knew they right and hated it, his only hope was that Potter would try and rescue he friends an then he could kill them all. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

When Voldemort left Bellatrix and Lucius in charge of Hermione and the twins while held a meeting with his other Deatheaters he expected them to be able to keep the brats in line not come back to find Lucius tied up, covered in makeup and Bellatrix laughing hysterically at nothing.

'Hi Voldie!' Fred said happily

'Don't Hi me you little brat, what in Merlins name is going?' Voldemort asked half snarling

'Well we were bored and thought Lucius would look rather pretty in makeup, but we didn't have any so we bribed Bellatrix with candy to get us some' Hermione said smiling sweetly

'Thats pretty much our evening, how was yours?' George asked

'None of your business' Voldemort told him

'Voldie can Lucy and Trixie come and play tomorrow?, they're really fun' Hermione asked giving Voldemort her best puppy eyes

'My lord please don't make me have to babysit them tomorrow' Lucius pleaded

'Whats wrong with us?' Fred demanded

'Your completely bonkers' Lucius said as the Dark Lord untied him

'I like them, they're kinda fun' Bellatrix said while trying to help Hermione catch invisible butterflies

'You would say that, your nuts' Lucius said

'It has to be said Trixie, you are completely GA Ga' the twins said in sync.

Voldemort stood there listening to his Deatheaters bicker and the brats screaming out random insults and hoped Potter would hurry up and try rescue his friends, so he could be free of the prankster.

Thank-you to The secret trio, the unregistered wolf animagus, Angel Girl5, The Good Child and Hermione Is My Role Model for reviewing 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort was awoken by very out of key singing, wondering who the hell would be singing at two morning he went to investigate a decision he'd later come to regret.

Voldemort had seen many disturbing things in his time, but nothing remotely like the scene in front him.  
Six of Deatheaters dressed in fishnet singing, Nagini purple with bunny ears , the brats and Bellatrix holding paint guns at his Deatheaters forcing them to do what they wanted.

'What in the name of everything evil is going on in here?' Voldemort asked

'Well I was telling Trixie all the cool things about Muggles and somehow we got onto The Rocky Horror Picture Show an she told me she'd never seen it so George or was it Fred, well it was one of them suggested that we kidnap Lucius, Severus, Wormtail, Yaxley, Greyback and Rodolphus to perform it for us' Hermione explained

'That explains why my Deatheaters are wearing fishnet stockings, but what have you done to my precious Nagini?' Voldemort demanded

'Um, you really don't want us to answer that' George said

'I think I do' Voldemort said glaring at George

'Trixie charmed her mouth shut, George glued plastic bunny ears on her, Hermione tried to make Wormtail eat her and then I painted her purple' Fred said grinning.

'I don't trust Fish' Bellatrix told Hermione

'Me neither, they ate my teddy bear' Hermione said sadly

Voldemort stood there wishing he'd stayed in bed, it was to early to have to deal with this and the sight of Wormtail was making him feel rather ill while Voldemort and his Deatheaters weren't enjoying themselves , Hermione and the twins were having an awesome time.

Thank-you to The secret trio, Lovemetal, dorina16able, Hermione Is My Role Model and cosmoGirl666 for reviewing 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort had decided it'd be best if watched the brats after the previous events the night, one because his Deatheaters seemed incapable of controlling three teenagers and two he dreaded to think the damage they'd cause if he let Bellatrix watch them again, so here he was stuck with three annoying teenagers.

'Voldie I'm bored' Hermione whined

'How is that my problem?' Voldemort asked

'Because when I'm bored, I'm extra annoying' Hermione said smirking

'Its true Voldie, she is' Fred told him

'Once when she was really bored she tried to bite Professor McGonagall' George said

'As great as it to reminisce about me almost biting Minnie, but I'm still bored' Hermione said pouting at Voldemort

'Listen here, I don't care if your bored shut up and leave me alone' Voldemort said wagging his finger at Hermione.

Before Voldemort had time to react,  
Hermione launched forward and bit his hand causing Voldemort to let out a rather girlish squeal for the darkest wizard of all time.

'You bit me!' Voldemort said clutching his hand

'I warned you,she bites when she's bored' George told him

'Yeah that's a great comfort to my hand' Voldemort snapped

'I'll bite you again in a minute if you don't find me something to do'  
Hermione threatened

'I'd find her something to do if I was you' Fred suggested

'Fine, what would make you not bored any more?' Voldemort asked

'If Trixie was allowed to come over'  
Hermione said happily

'So if I summon Bellatrix, you won't bite me again?' Voldemort asked eying Hermione with suspicion

'Probably not' Hermione told him smiling innocently

In the end Voldemort summoned Bellatrix to entertain Hermione, because one he wanted to be left in peace and two because the girl had really sharp teeth.

A massive thank-you to Luna Lily Severus Allen Snape, the unregistered wolf animagus, The Good Child, Nala Moon, Hermione Is My Role Model and dorina16able for reviewing 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort had come up with what he thought was a perfect plan split the brats up and without each other they'd settle down and be away from him, but unfortunately for him all three had returned to him within an hour.

Voldemort spilt them up into three groups, Hermione was put with Wormtail, Fred with Lucius Malfoy and George with Rabastan Lestrange.

Hermione had been the first one returned to him by a blue paint covered Wormtail muttering " the Zombie fish is going to kill us all",  
Fred returned second alone claiming Lucius had gone to the moon, George returned last with pale faced Rabastan Lestrange in tow.

'Which one of you going to explain why I have one missing Deatheater and two others traumatized?'  
Voldemort asked glaring at the pranking trio

'There your Deatheaters, shouldn't you know?' George asked innocently

'If I knew I wouldn't of have asked'  
Voldemort said

'Well you're you and we're us, so how in Merlin's name do we know what you mean when you not us asks a question' Hermione said seriously

'That made no sense whatsoever'  
Fred told her.

Voldemort could feel a really bad headache coming on and still had no answers to what they'd done to his Deatheaters.

'Lets put it another way, Granger what did you do to Wormtail?' Voldemort asked

'Painted him blue and threatened him with a dead sword fish while screaming Zombie fish is going to kill us all' Hermione said as if it what the most normal thing to do

'Right, you where's Lucius?'  
Voldemort asked pointing to Fred

'He went to the moon to get some cheese!' Fred told him cheerfully

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that?' Voldemort asked

'Not really, but it's the best and only explanation your going to get' Fred said.

'Fine, you what did you do you Rabastan?' Voldemort said pointing to George

'I told him that you and Dumbledore are secret lovers and described all the stuff you do when your alone' George told him smirking

'You're a very disturbed person' Voldemort told George

'Yeah, well your a snake faced Weirdo' George said sulkily.

All in all Voldemort was not having a good day and it was only eleven fifteen in the morning.

A massive thank-you to bookworm,  
dorina16able and Hermione Is My Role Model for reviewing :-) 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort was forced to take Hermione and the twins to his Deatheater meeting because couldn't find anyone except Bellatrix to watch the little brats and after what the four of them did last time she watched them, Voldemort was never letting her look after them alone again his precious Nargini still couldn't look at anything pink without being sick.

Five minutes into the meeting Hermione and the twins had become bored listening to how Voldemort was going to kill Potter and wipe out the Order, become ruler of the wizarding world and a load of other boring things that neither Hermione or twins had any interest in.

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'Why does it seem that all of you are incapable of handling a few Mudbloods and Blood Traitors?' Voldemort asked glaring at his followers

'Because they don't own an army of Garden Gnomes' Fred suggested

'I was asking them, not you' Voldemort said pointing at his followers

'I was only trying to help' Fred said pouting

'Please if I wanted help, I wouldn't you, your brother or Granger' Voldemort told him

'What's wrong with us?' Hermione asked with a puzzled expression

'You're annoying little twerps, that's what's wrong with you' Voldemort told Hermione who was drawing Smiley faces on her finger.

'After everything we've done for you,  
you insult us' George said with mock hurt

'What have you three ever done for me?' Voldemort asked

'We saved your life just this morning!' George said

'How is hitting me in the face with rubber mallet saving my life?' Voldemort asked as he tooka quill away from Hermione

'Um, there was an invisible spider trying to eat your face' Hermione said trying to snatch her quill back.

'My Lord, why are they actually at this meeting?' Rodolphus asked

'Because I couldn't find anyone to watch them' Voldemort said sighing

'Why didn't you leave them alone, it's not like they could escape?' Rodolphus asked

'Because last time I left them alone Lestrange they blew up my bedroom' Voldemort said with gritted teeth

'That was Fred's fault' George said

'Hey!, it was not my fault if anyone to blame its Hermione' Fred said pointing to Hermione

'How was it my fault?' Hermione asked

'Because you're the one that actually set it off' Fred said smirking

'But, it was your idea' Hermione whined 00000000000000000000000000000

Voldemort spent the next hour listening to Hermione and Fred bickering over who's fault it was for his bedroom being blown up, wishing Harry would come and get his friends.

A massive thank-you to the unregistered wolf animagus, The secret trio, Guest, Black-Rose23, dorina16able and Hermione Is My Role Model for reviewing 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Fred and Hermione spent two hours bickering over whose fault it was that Voldemort bedroom blew up until George threatened to slap them both with a rubber chicken if they didn't quit arguing about it, knowing George would go through with his threat if he had to Fred and Hermione decided to share the blame and focus on their efforts to bug Voldemort.

Because annoying Voldemort was the reason they were there in the first place, the reason the order had let them be taken without a fight and the reason Harry hadn't turned up to rescue them.

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Voldemort knew the twins and Hermione were planning something by the grins on their faces and what ever it was, it was bound to be horrible for him and pleasant for them.

'What are you three up to?' Voldemort asked his eyes narrowed with suspicion

'Would you believe me if I said we were planning you a birthday party? Hermione asked innocently

'No I wouldn't' Voldemort told her

'Okay we weren't planning your birthday party' Hermione said shrugging her shoulders

'I know that, but what I don't know is what you're up to' Voldemort said sighing, sometimes speaking to Granger and the twins was like talking to a brick wall.

'Um, were plotting to take over the universe using pickles' Fred told him

'That is the most ridcouls idea I have ever heard' Voldemort said walking away to go and find a potion to get rid of his headache.

'Bye, Voldie' George called.

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While Voldemort went in search for pain reliever potion Hermione, Fred and George continued to plot a surprise for their darling Voldie.

A massive thank-you to Black-Rose23, The secret trio, the unregistered wolf animagus, dorina16able, TwangyElastic and The Good Child for reviewing :-) 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Hermione and the twins had been telling the truth they were in fact planning a surprise party for Voldemort,they had hit a small snag they could not decide whether the cake should be chocolate or marzipan.  
Struggling to pick they sought out Bellatrix and asked her advice on which cake they should have for Voldies party,

'Trixie we've decided to host a party for Voldie, but we don't know which cake we should have chocolate or marzipan?' Hermione asked

'Why not have both' Bellatrix suggested

'A chocolate cake covered with marzipan?' Fred asked

'No, two seprate cakes' Bellatrix said

'Yeah, then we can have the chocolate one in the shape of a snake and the marzipan one in the shape of Harrys scar' George said excitedly.

'Other than the cakes what else are you having at the party?' Bellatrix asked Hermione

'Um, we're going to have a chocolate fountain, lots of candy, fire whiskey and coca-cola' Hermione said bouncing back and forwards

'An for entertainment we're going to have two bouncy castles, a clown, pony rides and a dancing chicken' George told her

'Don't forget us singing a song dedicated to Voldie' Fred said smirking

'Can I sing too, please!' Bellatrix pleaded

'Of course you can Trixie' Hermione told her

'Yay' Bellatrix said excitedly

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Having decided on two cakes they started working on their song for Voldie.

Author Note: sorry its so short, the next chapter will be longer I promise :-)

A massive thank-you JannaKalderash, pineapple loves you, sabbs123, the unregistered wolf animagus, dorina16able and The secret trio 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort couldn't decide what he was more disturbed by the clown,  
the garden gnomes that kept singing " Happy Birthday to you Your nine hundred and ninety two Nobody likes you Your face reminds me of puke and you smell like it too"  
Or the fact that'd he'd only been at that party five minutes and would have to stay for at least two hours or the little brats would feed Nagini to a dragon.

'You should smile Voldie poo, we've gone to all this trouble to throw you a party' Fred said while jumping up and down on the bouncy castle

'Which I didn't ask for nor do I want to attend it' Voldemort snarled

'Your negative attitude is upsetting my invisible friend Lily the Lioness' Hermione said glaring at Voldemort

Voldemort let out a sigh, it wasn't the first time Hermione had brought up Lily the Lioness and wouldn't be the last.  
'When you sigh I can smell your breath and it smells like a mixture between garlic and sour milk' George told him appearing with Bellatrix at his side.

'You smell like sour milk and garlic' Voldemort muttered childishly

'Hi Georgie, Hi Trixie is everything set up?' Hermione said excitedly

'Yep, so Fred better get his butt of the bouncy castle we have a song to perform'.

It took ten minutes to drag Fred of the bouncy castle so they could perform their special song to Voldie.  
Hermione, the twins and Bellatrix stood on a fake stage dressed up in Kermit the frog outfit and began to sing very badly,

'Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh Lucius , Lucius !  
I must confess,  
I still believe (still believe),  
That Harry will defeat Voldemort !  
Give me a sign,  
Give me chocolate Lucius one more time!  
Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh Draco, Draco!  
I'm addicted to you.  
Don't you know that you're stupid !  
And I love what you do.

Don't you know that you're stupid !  
Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh Greyback, Greyback!  
I think I did it again,  
I made you believe that a goat stole Dumbledores beard ,  
Oh Greyback!  
To annoy Voldie like that is just so typically me.

Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh my Zombie fish!.. I did it again!  
I sent Umbridge to st mungos!  
Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh Wormtail , Wormtail !  
I think I made you believe in talking goats.

Oh my Zombie fish!.. You think in talking goats.

Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
I'm not that funny!  
You see my problem is this,  
Wormtails socks,  
Wishing that Voldie would buy me a pony.

Oh Voldie, Voldie!  
Oh Lucius , Lucius !  
Oh Draco, Draco!  
Oh Greyback, Greyback!  
Oh Wormtail , Wormtail !  
I must confess,  
I still believe (still believe),  
That Harry will defeat Voldemort !  
Give me a sign,  
Give me chocolate Lucius one more time!'  
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The whole room was silent, no-one knew whether to burst out laughing or clap, but one thing was for certain Voldemort would always remember the party no matter how much he didn't want to.

A massive thank-you to the unregistered wolf animagus, dorina16able and sabbs123 for reviewing. 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

The moment Voldemort woke up and saw his bedroom had been repainted pink he knew he was going to have a really bad day, but nothing could have prepared him for this.

Breakfast had gone the same way it had every morning since Hermione and the twins had been there, Fred and George flicked food at each other as Hermione made airplane noises as she ate her porridge while Voldemort read the newspaper grateful that he'd never had kids.

It was twenty minutes after breakfast had finished that Voldemort day began to go badly, well more badly than usual when Severus arrived and told him that neither Harry or the order had any plans to rescue the brats from him in the foreseeable future and if that wasn't bad enough news three of his Deatheaters had been caught the night before.

Voldemort didn't know how, but he knew Hermione and the twins were in some way responsible for his Deatheaters captures by the smug grins on their faces when Severus reported the news.

Things got even worse once Severus had left to report back to Dumbledore, the brats were bored and wanted something to do, but everything he suggested they shot down in flames.

'Why don't you read?' Voldemort asked hoping that Hermione would agree and pressure the twins into reading too.

'I've read all your books except the dark arts ones and I don't want read those Hermione sighed heavily

'We only read when Professor McGonagall makes us' the twins told him in sync

'Fine, why don't I summon Bellatrix and she can entertain you' Voldemort suggested

'Trixies busy today' Hermione told him pouting

'Doing what?' Voldemort asked, he hadn't sent her on any mission so what in Merlin names could she be doing.

'She's currently breaking into to St Mungos, to prank Umbridge for us'  
George said grinning at the thought of Umbridge covered in slug slime and feathers

'Isn't Umbridge your former Defense Against the Dark Arts professor?' Voldemort asked

'Yeah she was, did you know she fancied you' Fred said enjoying the disgusted look that crossed Voldemort's face.

'Who do I have to bite for someone to find me something to do?'  
Hermione asked looking at Voldemort.

'What do you want to do?' Voldemort asked to regretting the words the second he spoke them.

Hermione pondered the question, what did she want to do then suddenly an idea hit her. She leaned over to the twins and whispered her idea to them both boys nodded their heads in agreement with the idea.

'We want to build a giant fort in the dining room and we want you to help us' Hermione told Voldemort excitedly

'Can I build the fort using magic' Voldemort asked hoping Hermione would say yes.

'No you have to help us build it with your bare hands' Hermione told him

'If I do it will you leave me alone for the rest of the day?' Voldemort half asked and half pleaded

'Yes' Fred Lied

Hermione wanted the fort to be built out of mashed potatoes and when Voldemort told building a fort out of mash potatoes was a stupid idea she kicked him very hard in the shins not wanting to be left out the twins kicked him too.

While clutching his very sore shin Voldemort told Hermione that he took it all back, building a fort out mashed potatoes was a brilliant idea.

It took two hours to get enough mashed potatoes to build the fort, but by that time Hermione and the twins didn't want to build a fort they wanted throw it on the walls instead.

Voldemort thought while they were distracted he'd sneak off and call a meeting to see if Deatheaters brought him better news than Severus had that morning unfortunately leaving Hermione and the twins to their own devices proved to be a big mistake.

Voldemort had only Hermione and the twins for an hour, but when he went back to the dinning the room they weren't in the potato covered room.  
He searched his library, their sleeping quarters and his bedroomwith no sign of them.

He didn't know where to check for them next the manor was huge it'd take him forever to search all the rooms, but luckily for him he didn't have to.

A girly scream led him to them, they where in what had been the ballroom until they'd gotten in there, somehow they had manged to get wormtails wand and had turned most of the room into a jungle.

'How in Merlin's name did they get your wand?' Voldemort snapped

'They jumped out and surprised me an I dropped my wand' Wormtail stuttered

'Voldie I'm hungry what's for lunch?' Hermione asked her stomach growling.

Voldemort looked at the just about visible clock on the wall, he couldn't believe it was only twelve thirty in the afternoon it'd been along day.

'I don't know, ask Wormtail seeing as the one watching you because I'm going back to bed I've had enough already today' Voldemort said before storming of.

A massive thank-you to Black-Rose23 The secret trio bookworm Hermione Is My Role Model dorina16able JannaKalderash Amandla123 sabbs123 For reviewing 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort had tried twenty-six times to get rid of the jungle occupying the ballroom and every single time he had tried the same thing happened the jungle remained and a Panther would appear, so now not only was he stuck with three very annoying brats, a jungle ballroom and use less Deatheaters he now he had twenty-six Panthers who like to torment his precious Nagini and destroy his stuff. Of course the brats that were born to make his existence utterly miserable encouraged the Panthers to cause havoc and destruction.

Voldemort wanted to get rid of the panthers, but when he suggested that Severus take them away and make Dumbledore look after them Hermione threatened to destroy him with a quill and a watermelon.

Voldemort wasn't sure how she'd destroy him with a quill and a watermelon, but he wasn't in any hurry to find out so he agreed to let them keep the Panthers until Potter turned up and then he'd obliterate them all.

What he wouldn't give to be able to obliterate all of them now and be done it with all, but he'd be patient an wait for Potter because Potter would cave before he'd did or at least that's what he told himself that little mantra was the only thing keeping him sane.

Which at that moment losing his sanity was a real possibility if the twins and Hermione didn't shut up about what to name the panthers.

'We cannot go around calling all the male panthers Peter and all the female one Pearl' Hermione said in a tone that would make any sane person shiver.

'Why can't we?' The twins asked in union

'Because they're living things they deserve to have individual names' Hermione said glaring at them.

' There's twenty-six of them' Fred whined

'Well that's Lord I cannot kill a baby, fault' Hermione said pointing at Voldemort

'You're right, he's the Jerk in all this' George said glaring at Voldemort

'Wait a Slytherin second, how am I to blame for anything?' Voldemort asked

'Well if you hadn't tried to Vanish the Jungle they wouldn't be any panthers and we wouldn't have to come up with names for panthers' Hermione told him.

'Thats why you are the Jerk in this, but don't feel bad Voldie we forgive you' Fred said Grinning

'Im so glad' Voldemort said, but his tone of clearly stated he was anything other than glad

'Now we've all discovered that its Voldie fault can we get back to naming my panthers' Hermione asked the twins with puppy dog eyes

'How about you name the Hermione and then we can go blow something up' George suggested

'Sounds like a plan' Hermione agreed .

A massive thank-you to Black-Rose23 The secret trio The Good Child Guest Guest dorina16able Hermione Is My Role Model sabbs123 for reviewing 


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort was awoken at four in the morning by Hermione screaming "  
Wake up a kangaroo stole my pet goat" which caused him to bolt upright and bang his head on the sauce pan Fred was holding above him.

'Why are you three in my room?'  
Voldemort demanded.

'Hermione finished naming the panthers and she wanted to tell you the names' George told him.

'So here we are' Fred told him as he on the edge of the bed.

'I don't want to know their names I want you three to go away' Voldemort growled.

Hermione who'd spent hours coming up with names for her Panthers army of doom wasn't going to go away until she had told Voldemort all twenty-six names for the panthers,

'Listen here Mister Grumpy marshmallow pants I've spent a lot of time and effort coming up with theses names, so you're going to listen to them or I will make your life a living hell' Hermione threatened while glaring at Voldemort.

'She couldn't be any worse than she is now, could she?' Voldemort asked the twins

'Um…you've only seen the mild mannered Hermione' Fred said smirking

'Really!?' Voldemort asked in disbelief

'Yeah so if I was you I'd just listen to her tell you the names' George advised

'I'm really beginning to get irradiated with being talked about as if I'm not here' Hermione told the twins

'Sorry Mione' the twins said union

'apology accepted, now Voldie are you ready to hear the awesome names I've come up with?' Hermione asked with a raised eyebrow

'If I say yes can I go back to sleep?' Voldemort asked

'Of course you can Voldie' Hermione told him happily

'Go Head' Voldemort said

'I've named them Albus Buttercup Callie Daisy Egg Fern Ginny Harry Izzy Jelly Katie Luna Mint Nettle Oliver Pebble Quinn Remus Sirius Tim Umbrella Wendy Xavier Yogurt and Zachary' Hermione said grinning

'aren't they Lovely Names Voldie?'  
Hermione asked

'Yeah terrific… Can I go back to sleep now' Voldlemort groaned 00000000000000000000000000000000

While Voldemort went back to sleep the Pranking trio decided to go and build a statue of Harry in the dinning room as a surprise for when Voldemort came down for breakfast.

The twins and Hermione built the statue out of cheese and it looked remarkably like Harry for a statute ,Fred thought that Statue Harry Looked lonely and Suggested that they build a Dumbledore Statute out of wax.

George and Hermione agreed because they knew Other than Harry,  
Dumbledore was his most Favorite person in the universe and would really love to be greeted by the sight of them when he came down for breakfast.

A massive thank-you to Black-Rose23 MyHarryPotterAddiction The secret trio Terry dorina16able Hermione Is My Role Model pineapple loves you sabbs123 JannaKalderash For reviewing :-) 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort was sitting at the breakfast table glaring at the Statutes of Harry and Dumbledore he wanted to blast them into smithereens, but the Look on the brats faces prevented him from doing so because he knew that if he did they'd only do something more irritating than statutes.

Voldemort was hoping they that one of Panthers would destroy the statutes when they were playing and that way the little annoying brats would be mad at their precious panthers not him.

Voldemort was going to take a sip of his Coffee, but the smile Hermione and the twins gave him made him suspicious of what they'd done to it,

'What have you put in the Coffee?' Voldemort asked narrowing his eyes at Hermione and the twins.

'Which one are you asking? because there is three of us' Fred ask as he buttered his toast

'I'm speaking to all three of you' Voldemort said glaring at Fred

'Speaking to all three of us about what?' Hermione asked cheerfully

'About who's tampered with my coffee' Said through gritted teeth

'No ones tampered with your coffee you're just being paranoid' George told Voldemort.

Voldemort rolled his eyes he wasn't being paranoid he knew they'd done something and he was going to prove it, 'If there's nothing wrong with it,  
you won't mind drinking it will you?'  
Voldemort asked sliding the cup towards George.

George took a big gulp and swallowed the Coffee, 'See there nothing wrong with you suspicious old goat' George told him

'He's not a goat, He's a Goldfish' Hermione said Pointing at Voldemort

'I am not a goldfish nor am I a goat' Voldemort said glaring at Hermione and George.

'Of course you're not Voldie' Fred said cooing at Voldemort as if he was a baby.

Voldemort began rubbing his forehead wondering why he couldn't have a normal breakfast.  
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After breakfast Voldemorts day started to become worse when Bellatrix turned up with three cauldrons full of candy for Hermione and the twins. At first Voldemort had refused to let them have the candy, but then Bellatrix had threatened call a Deatheater strike and as head of the newly formed Deatheaters Union she had the power to do it.

It had been Hermione and the twins who unionized the Deatheaters because they thought that Voldemort treated them Unfairly so being they lovely caring people they were the pranking trio sat down with Deatheaters an created a union, a union that had been causing Voldemort problems since it began.

After Bellatrix had made Voldemort give Hermione and the twins candy she left, leaving Voldemort to deal with three very hyper teenagers,

'Do you know what'd be really awesome?' Hermione asked bouncing in her seat

'A Donkey breed with a chicken' Fred suggested

'Close but, no what'd be really awesome if I was ruler of the world and you two were my seconds in command' Hermione said excitedly

'You're that'd be awesome' George said agreeing

Voldemort looked at George like he'd just suggested that the moon was really made out of cheese,

'Granger being ruler of he world would be the worst thing in the whole universe' Voldemort said shivering at the idea of Hermione in charge of the world

'What's wrong with Hermione?' Fred demanded

'Yeah what's wrong with me?' Hermione asked narrowing her eyes at Voldemort.

'You'd destroy the world in a week' Voldemort snorted

'I would not!, I'd cherish it the way I cherish my Invisible friend Lily the lion' Hermione said childishly

'Yeah an pigs fly, father Christmas is real and I love Dumbledore' Voldemort said his voice dripping with Sarcasm

'Aww… I knew you loved Dumbledore' Hermione cooed

'Screw his feelings for Dumbledore, father Christmas is real' Fred said excitedly

'Whys that important?' George asked his twin

'We can kidnap Father Christmas and get that pony we've always wanted' Fred explained to his brother

'Can I help you kidnap Father Christmas? And can I have a pony too?' Hermione asked the twins with puppy dogs eyes

'Yes to both Mione' The twins said in sync

'Yay with marshmallows on too' Hermione said happily.

Voldemort wanted to scream he couldn't believe how childish they all were, it was like being stuck with three year olds.  
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A massive thank-you to dorina16able Black-Rose23 The secret trio Terry Hermione Is My Role Model DanielleL OrchideousSymphony JannaKalderash sabbs123 For reviewing :-) 


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort found that making Deatheaters who failed him babysit Hermione and the twins a very suitable punishment it was much more effective than using the Cruciatus Curse on them.  
Because pain faded, but a few hours with Hermione and twins traumatized you for life.

So when Wormtail failed to get information that Voldemort wanted on members of the Order he had been given the duty of watching the pranking trio for the afternoon.

Wormtail begged Voldemort not to leave him alone with Hermione and the twins, but his pleading was ignored and he was left to deal with three teenagers who hated him more than they did Voldemort or Umbridge.

Hermione had a special way to greet Wormtail, every time she saw him she'd slap him round the face five times an say " this is from Lily, this is from James, this is from Harry, this is from Sirius and this is from Remus" and then she'd kick him in the shins an say "that's from me and everyone else who isn't a scum bag".

Fred and George always found Hermiones greeting amusing and wished that Harry and the others were there to see it. The only person who didn't enjoy it was Wormtail which made the Pranking trio very happy.  
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After Hermiones usual greeting to Wormtail both herself and the twins decided that they wanted candy and lots of it, but Wormtail who'd seen what they were like when hyped up sugar refused to let them have any,

'I want candy and I want it now' Hermione whined loudly.

'For the hundredth time you're not having any candy' Wormtail told Hermione while trying to take away a spoon from Fred who kept trying to poke Wormtail with it.

'Voldie lets us have candy' George said sulkily

'The Dark Lord isn't here' Wormtail sighed wishing that Voldemort was there with them instead of him.

'When is he coming back?' Hermione asked

'I don't know' Wormtail said shrugging.

'You're a great help' Fred said his voice dripping with sarcasm.

'Yeah he's about as helpful as the sun is to a Snowman' Hermione said earning high fives from the twins.

'I wish I was snowman' Fred said

'Um…why?' George asked his twin with brother with a raised eyebrow

'Because nobody suspects the Snowman' Fred said dreamily

'Suspects the Snowman of what?' Hermione asked

'Of trying to take over the world' Fred told her.

'Ahhhh' Hermione screamed making Wormtail jump

'Why'd scream for?' Wormtail asked glaring at Hermione

'Hermione didn't scream' Fred said looking at Wormtail like he'd lost the plot.

'Yes she did!' Wormtail said

'Why would I scream for no reason?' Hermione asked with a puzzled expression.

'Why would I know you're one that screamed' Wormtail said with an irritated tone.

The argument over whether Hermione actually screamed or not went on for half an hour which by that time Hermione got fed up and hit Wormtail in the face with pillow and told him to shut up or she'd feed him to her Panthers.

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Once the screaming argument had finnished a new argument broke out over whether Wormtail had stolen Fred and George invisible yo-yos.

'Wheres are our yo-yos you treacherous little rat kisser?' Fred and George both demanded.

'I don't know where they are' Wormtail said through gritted teeth.

'Hes lying' Hermione said pointing at Wormtail

'I am not lying' Wormtail said

'So you're saying that Hermiones Lying about you lying?' Fred asked

'He so better not be because if he is I'm gonna stick a carrot up his Nose' Hermione said glaring at Wormtail.

'I'm not calling you a liar I'm just saying I'm not lying and that I didn't take their invisible Yo-Yos' Wormtail told them while imagining how much it'd hurt to have a carrot shoved up his nose.

'Well somebody has taken mine and Fred's yo-yos and the only one out of all four of us who's a horrible sneaky little git is you' George said earning nods of agreement from both Hermione and Fred.

'When Voldie gets back I'm going to tell him how you didn't let us have any candy and how you stole Fred and Georges Yo-yos an then you'll be in trouble' Hermione said in a sing song voice.

Wormtail couldn't believe he was arguing over invisible yo-yos and candy,

'I doubt the Dark Lord will care' Wormtail told Hermione.

'He will when we annoy him and say its your fault' Fred said smirking

Wormtail knew he was already in the Dark Lords bad books so if the little brats irritated the Dark Lord and then blamed him he'd be in even trouble so the only logical thing to do was to try and negotiate with the brats.

'What would it take to keep my name out of things?' Wormtail asked

'Give us a minute to confer' George told him.

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Hermione and the twins had four demands candy, three skate boards, a cauldron and lots of cauliflower.

Wormtail gave them everything they asked for he was curious about why they wanted Cauliflower, Skater boards and a cauldron, but had more sense than to ask what the pranking trio were up to. As long as he was kept out of anything they did Wormtail didn't care if they used the things to summon a butterfly called Sally if that's what they wanted to do.

What Wormtail didn't know was that the moment they caught doing what they were going to do they'd tell Voldemort that it was all Wormtails fault.

When Voldemort got back and saw that Hermione and the twins were behaving perfectly he became immediately suspicious, they were up to something and he knew what ever it was it wasn't good. He should have know that leaving them with a weakling like Wormtail in the first place was a bad idea.

He was just hoping what ever they did it wouldn't be to destructive, but knowing the prankster trio it would be.

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Authors Note: Sorry it took so long to post this chapter the weather has been pretty crappy in the UK.

A massive thank-you to Guest dorina16able The secret trio MyHarryPotterAddiction JannaKalderash sabbs123 for reviewing 


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort didn't know what he was more currently annoyed about the fact that he had a cauldron stuck to his foot, that every time anyone said "My lord he got doused with Cauliflower or the three little brats skating around the room on skateboards singing "Voldie is mouldy".

Voldemort may not have been enjoying his self, but Hermione and the twins were having a great speeding around the room singing or saying " My Lord just to watch Voldemort get cauliflower dumped on him, but they were going to enjoy blaming Wormtail for the whole thing even more.

'Hey Voldie guess where we got all this stuff from?' Hermione asked zooming round the room.

'Bellatrix' Voldemort guessed.

'Wrong Trixie was busy selling your teddy bear Mr happy Pants to Mad Eye Moody' George said

'She sold Mr Happy Pants!?' Voldemort asked with wide eyes.

'Yeah for a bag potatoes and bottle cap' Fred told him.

'You haven't finished guessing who gave us all this stuff' Hermione said whining.

'I have more worrying matters like the fact that Mr Happy Pants is gone' Voldemort said sulkily

'Oh he's not gone I was lying your teddy bear is your office' George said trying to catch Hermione who had stolen his lucky quill.

'Thank Merlin' Voldemort said clutching his chest glaring at George.

'Now will you guess who gave us this stuff?' Hermione asked in impatiently.

'Why don't you just tell me' Voldemort suggested knowing that a guessing game with Hermione could go on for hours.

'Okay… it was Wormtail' Hermione informed him happily.

'The Little rat faced pile puke for brains' Voldemort said sighing, he'd like to say he was shocked, but he always knew Wormtail was weak.

'Don't forget Cowardly treacherous little twerp' Fred and George said.

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Voldemort was going to make Wormtail suffer for this he let Bellatrix get away with helping the brats because she was insane, but Wormtail just gave in because he little runt.

Fred, George and Hermione smirked to one another they had a sneaking suspension that Wormtail would be a Panther poop cleaning duty for the foreseeable future.

Voldemort tried to pull of the Cauldron of his foot, but whatever the pranking trio had used it just wouldn't shift.

'When is this cauldron going to come off?' Voldemort asked trying to twist his foot free.

'Should be in the next three hours'  
Fred said smiling.

'What if one of my Deatheaters turn up and I have a cauldron on my foot?' Voldemort asked, thinking how'd it look.

'Then you'll look stupid' George said smirking.

'I really hate you three' Voldemort told them.

'We know' Hermione and the twins said in sync.

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Authors Note: sorry its so short, crazy day.

A massive thank-you to EllaB4Midnite The secret trio AlphaGirl224 Black-Rose23 dorina16able sabbs123 For reviewing 


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort had asked Hermione and the twins to do one thing behave for one hour while he held a meeting with his Deatheaters, but asking the pranking trio to behave was like asking Dumbledore to give up Lemon drops it was never going to happen.

Letting Hermione and the twins eat ice cream, candy and cookies for breakfast wasn't really working in Voldemorts favour. They were hyped on sugar and didn't want to sit still in a boring meeting for an hour and had no problem in letting everyone in the room know of their displeasure.

'Why do we have to sit in a stupid meeting with stupid people?' Hermione said whining loudly.

'I'm not stupid' Crabbe senior said.

'Yes you are' the twins said sync.

'I hate to agree with a Weasley, but you're stupid' Lucius said frowning that he'd agreed with a Weasley.

'I still want to know why I or the twins have attend this meeting' Hermione asked Voldemort.

'Because I said so' Voldemort said sighing.

'You're not our real mum you can't tell us what to do' Fred said pointing at Voldemort.

'Voldies not our mummy?' Hermione asked.

'Uh…No' George said slowly.

'Then why in Merlin's name have I been being so nice to Voldie and his Deatheaters?' Hermione questioned earning herself funny stares from many of the room occupation.

'You've been nothing, but a nuisance since you got here' Lucius said.

'Hermione isn't a nuisance she's a visionary' the twins said glaring at Malfoy.

'The twins are right' Bellatrix told the other Deatheaters.

'Well if you love the brats so much why don't you join them on Potters side?' Yaxley suggested.

'Maybe I will' Bellatrix said before sticking her tongue out at Yaxley.

Voldemort sat there listening to his Deatheaters bicker like three year Olds squabbling over toy wishing he could just he could just get through a meeting where nothing went wrong.

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Voldemort called the Deatheater meeting to a close after Bellatrix punched Lucius in the face for calling her "Princess Nut Job" to be honest Voldemort wasn't sure what Bellatrix was most annoyed with being called a princess or a nut job.

From the expression on Hermione and the twins faces when his Deatheaters were fighting Voldemort was pretty sure that the Pranksing trio had engineered the fighting to get out of having to sit in the meeting.

Voldemort couldn't help thinking If the brats weren't super annoying, blood traitors and a mudblood an Completely loyal to Potter they'd make excellent Deatheaters, but then again they'd probably try to overthrow him within a month.  
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A massive thank-you to serenityselena bookworm giggles Bloody. 5507 Bloody. 5507 Bloody. 5507 The secret trio dorina16able Black-Rose23 sabbs123 


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort couldn't believe that he'd agreed to let Hermione, the twins and Bellatrix have a sleep over in the dining room he also couldn't believe that he the most darkest wizard ever was supervising a sleep over.

Voldemort could just imagine Dumbledore and Potter laughing their heads off at image of him being at a sleepover.

The only reason he was there was because he couldn't trust the Pranking trio and Bellatrix not to do something ridiculously insane if they were bored or just felt like it.

While Voldemort sulked over the fact that he had to supervise a sleep over Bellatrix and the pranking trio were building a fort out of pillows and talking about if they had a pony what'd they'd call it.

Fred and George said they'd name their ponies "Gred and Forge".  
Bellatrix said she'd name her "Queen bumblebee the third" and Hermione said she'd name her "Awesome ninja Zombie killer" after her dead goldfish.

When Voldemort tried to point out they talking about naming ponies they didn't have was pointless he got a pillow thrown at face curiosity of Hermione.

Once the pillow fort had been built both Hermione and Bellatrix decided that they wanted to make Voldemort Look pretty an the twins just wanted to Voldemort in makeup.

Voldemort didn't want anyone to make him pretty and didn't want to put makeup on which was a minor problem for Hermione and Bellatrix.

'Why won't you let us make you look pretty?' Hermione asked with her saddest puppy dog eyes.

'Because I look fine the way I am' Voldemort said through gritted teeth.

'You really don't' Fred said earning a high five from his twin.

'They kind of have a point' Bellatrix told Voldemort.

'Your my Deatheater you're supposed to be on my side' Voldemort said rather childishly for someone who was supposed be a dark wizard.

'They gave me a puppy for my birthday where's you got me nothing so if you want me to side with you remember my birthday you jerk'  
Bellatrix said glaring at Voldemort.

'Where did they get a puppy from to give you?' Voldemort asked completely missing the important issue of him. forgetting Bellatrix birthday.

'How should I know' Bellatrix told him shrugging.

'We got it from Dumbledore when he came to see the panthers' George informed him.

'There is no way Dumbledore got into this manor without me knowing about it' Voldemort said.

'He came down the chimney like Santa and he brought a puppy with him and we had tea party and if you don't believe me you're a butt head'  
Hermione said in tone very similar to the one Professor McGonagall used when she was telling Hermione and twins of.

'Can we get back to the topic of making Voldie pretty' Fred suggested.

'How about let's not' Voldemort said glaring at Fred.

'Come on Voldie you'd look so pretty like a princess' Fred told him as an incentive.

'I don't want to look like princess' Voldemort said slowly as if he was speaking to a bunch of three years old.

'You're about as fun as a drunk pickle' George said.

'Can pickles get drunk?' Bellatrix asked.

'Yeah… we once had a pickle called Bob and he got drunk' George said remembering Bob the pickle somewhat fondly.

'I learn something new everyday'  
Bellatrix told George.  
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The argument over Voldemort being made pretty went on for an hour until Hermione promised her and the twins would behave the next day if he let them make him up, of course Hermione was lying but Voldemort didn't need to that and he was not stupid enough to try Legilimency on her or the twins.

While Hermione and Bellatrix were giving Voldemort his make over the twins were taking photos to show Harry and the Order when they returned Home.

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A massive thank-you to sabbs123 Hermione Is My Role Model MyHarryPotterAddiction dorina16able The Good Child The secret trio Black-Rose23 For reviewing 


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort was unhappy and tired and it was all Hermione , the twins and Bellatrix fault. After they had finished making Voldemort pretty Voldemort wanted to go to sleep, but they just wouldn't stop talking about complete an utter rubbish.

Till five in the morning Voldemort had to listen to giggling, Fred and George argue over who'd win in a fight Dumbledore beard or the sorting hat. Bellatrix and Hermione discussing how awesome it'd be to own a Flying puppy.

When they eventually fell asleep Voldemort was kept awake by snoring.

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Voldemort didn't know how the Pranking trio and Bellatrix could be so happy on only three hours sleep, but they were annoyingly happy at breakfast.

Laughing about how brilliant the sleepover was and all agreeing that'd they have to another one soon.  
Voldemort who had just about got through the one the night before put his foot down and said no which was not going down well.

'You never let us have any fun its like you don't love us' Fred said pouting at Voldemort.

'I don't love any of you' Voldemort said looking at Fred like he'd just confessed that he lived on Mars.

'Well that's mean' Bellatrix said glaring at Voldemort.

'I know what a jerk'George said in agreement.

'My spoon is shiny' Hermione blurted out of the blue.

'Mione that's great, but we have more pressing matters' Fred said taking away Hermiones spoon and putting it on the table.

'We do?' Hermione trying to reach for her spoon back.

'Yeah…Voldie doesn't love Us' George said.

'You don't love us Voldie?' Hermione asked her bottom lip trembling.

'No your horrible and annoying' Voldemort told Hermione.

'Well your git, but you don't hear us complaining about it' Bellatrix said with folded arms.

'Your attitude is really beginning to annoy me' Voldemort said through gritted teeth.

'Well if my attitude is so annoying to you I'm going to leave' Bellatrix half shrieked.

'Leave' Voldemort snarled.

'I will, you horses butt' Bellatrix said kicking her chair bag, before storming out.

Hermione and the twins smirked to one another they loved causing rifts between Voldemort and DeathEaters.

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Authors Note: when I've finnished this fic which is about 12 chapters away.  
I will be writing a fic with Hermione, the twins, Trixie and the Panthers at Order Headquarters causing mischief.

A massive thank-you to serenityselena Black-Rose23 MyHarryPotterAddiction The secret trio dorina16able JannaKalderash sabbs123 For reviewing 


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Hermione and the twins knew that eventually they'd have to go home and that " Operation annoy Voldemort because he's a git" would have come to an end, but what they didn't want to come to an end was their new alliance with Trixie so they decided they'd just bring Trixie back to headquarters.

Of course there was the Small Problem of the order hating Bellatrix, but being the awesome geniuses that they were Hermione and the twins came up with a solution.

The Order hated the adult Bellatrix Lestrange, but they couldn't hate a child so they were going to blackmail Snape into making a de-ageing Potion, give the potion to Bellatrix complete Operation annoy Voldemort because he's a git and leave with a de-aged Trixie and the Panthers.

Now all they had to do was convince Voldemort to leave them with Snape for a short while so they could begin their plan. Obviously with Voldemort mistrustimg the Pranking Trio the task wasn't going to be easy, but not being one to let a little hard work worry them Hermione and the twins set out to Voldemorts room to wake him up and annoy him until he gave the what they wanted

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Voldemort had been having the most Wonderful dream Potter and Dumbledore had been destroyed and he was ruler of the wizarding world, but a really loud screech woke him from his wonderful dream and he was not happy.

When Voldemort opened his eyes the Hermione and the twins faces were the first thing he saw,

'What ever you want surely it could've waited until morning?' Voldemort groaned.

'We had a nightmare about Zombie teddy bears' Hermione said swinging on the balls of her feet.

'That's my problem why?' Voldemort said while sitting up straight.

'Because we decided it was your problem' Fred told him.

'So comfort us dude' George said throwing himself at Voldemort and pulling Voldemort into a hug.

'Weasley get of me' Voldemort ordered trying to shake George arms of him.

'Um…no' George said.

'Aw you look so sweet when you're comforting someone Voldie' Fred said in a cooing voice.

'I am not comforted him I just can't get him to let go' Voldemort said glaring at a smiling George.

'You could kiss him' Hermione suggested.

'Ewww, gross' George said immediately letting go of Voldemort.

'Why would you even suggest that?' Fred asked looking at Hermione with worry.

'Um…I'm not sure, but it's probably because I wanted to see the disgusted look on Voldie face' Hermione told Fred.

'Thank Merlin… I thought you'd finally lost it' George said with relived sigh.

'I doubt she ever had it' Voldemort muttered.

'I heard that' Hermione pouted.

'I don't care' Voldemort told her.

'You're really grumpy' Fred said.

'You kept me awake last night and then you wake me up tonight … so yeah I'm grumpy' Voldemort growled.  
'Aw poor you' George cooed.

'Can one of you just get to the real reason you're here so I can get back to sleep?' Voldemort asked.

'Well we were wondering if Snape could babysit us tomorrow?' Fred asked.

'Whatever just go away ' Voldemort said half yawning.

As Hermione and the twins left Voldemort to get back to the land of nod they were amazed at how easy it was to get Voldemort to do what they wanted.

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A massive thank-you to Black-Rose23 The secret trio MyHarryPotterAddiction dorina16able sabbs123 For reviewing. 


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

When Severus Snape had been summoned by the Dark Lord he thought the Dark Lord wanted information on the order or Potter.  
He didn't expect that he'd be put on babysitting duty, but he had been and he wasn't happy about it. Then again no one in their right mind would be happy about the prospect of being responsible for Hermione and the twins.

Severus felt slightly uneasy over the fact that the pranking trio had requested that they be left in his charge. Because every other Deatheater except Bellatrix whom they had requested to look after they had come back traumatized especially Wormtail, if you mention the word jam or bumble bees in front of him his face would become pale and he'd shake in fear.

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Voldemort decided that since the pranking trio wanted Snape to look after them he'd go out for the day somewhere where he could be alone the graveyard where his filthy Muggle father was buried.

Less than twenty minutes after Voldemort had left Hermione and the twins got to real reason they'd requested Snape.

Straight away Snape refused to even think about making them a de-aging potion so Hermione and the twins decided to use some gentle persuasion.

'Look Sevvie you have two choices make us the potion or we'll tell everyone your secret' Hermione said sweetly.

'What secret?' Fred asked curious to what Hermione was going on about.

'Thats he's married to Umbridge' Hermione said.

'I'm not married to that horrible woman' Snape said gagging at the very idea.

'Now we've discovered that Snape isn't secretly married to Umbridge can we get to the matter of the de-aging potion' Fred suggested.

'Look I've told you I'm not making the potion' Snape said crossing his firmly across his chest.

'Why in chocolate chip pancakes not?' Hermione asked.

'Because I'm not making a potion to turn one of the Dark Lords most dangerous Deatheater into a child' Snape said emphasizing on the words Dangerous and Deatheater.

'Look we can all agree Trixie has done a few bad things in the past, but we believe that we've changed her to our side' George told Snape.

'You lot would your as GA GA as Bellatrix' Snape said with a small smirk.

'There is no need to be insulting' George said pouting.

'Professor I didn't want have to do this … if you don't do what we want I'm going to take over the world' Hermione said with a crazy glint in her eyes.

'You can't take over the world' Snape said shaking his head.

'Oh she can and will an then we're all doomed' Fred said.

'She'll destroy us all within an hour' George said in a scared tone.

'George has point I probably would destroy all within a hour' Hermione said smirking.

'I don't want to die… make the potion dude' George cried grabbing hold of Snapes shirt and tugging on it.

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It took three hours for Snape to cave in and agree to make the potion.  
Three hours of George crying " I want to live" Fred describing all the different ways Hermione could destroy the world and Hermione listing all the ways she could take over the world.

A massive thank-you to The secret trio bookworm serenityselena dorina16able .stark The Good Child glitch-e-r-749 sabbs123 For reviewing 


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort couldn't believe he was doing this for the little brats, but then again if he didn't they probably wouldn't let him get any sleep.

Voldemort had taken Hermione and the twins to the Jungle ballroom so Hermione could read the Panthers a bedtime story, but when they got there one of the Panthers were missing.

Hermione had been very upset that one of the Panthers were missing and had immediately blamed Voldemort for the whole thing and when Voldemort tried to explain that he nothing to with it, Hermione launched herself at Voldemort and started him with the bedtime story she had brought for the Panthers. It both Fred and George to pry an angry Hermione of Voldemort.

Once Fred and George had calmed Hermione down they suggested to Voldemort he better find Mint if he ever wished to go to sleep that night.

So here Voldemort was searching the Manor for a panther called mint that he didn't even like all because he was stuck three ultra annoying teenagers, but what Voldemort didn't know was that the missing Panther was all a ruse so Hermione and the twins could plot their next prank.

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'We could blow up the Manor?' Hermione suggested.

'No we can't… remember Dumbledore said we're not to do anything that will be noticed by the rest of the wizarding World' Fred told a pouting Hermione.

'And I'm pretty sure blowing a whole manor up will be noticed' George said.

'I guess you're both right' Hermione said unhappily.

'We could hide all Voldemort clothes and his wand so he has to walk around naked?' Fred suggested.

'Gross… I don't want to see a naked Voldemort' Hermione squealed with a disgusted look on her face.

'I've got it… we do marble fish'  
George said excitedly .

'Oh my Merlin that'd be awesome'  
Fred agreeing with his brother.

'What's the Marble Fish?' Hermione asked.

Fred and George filled Hermione in the marble fish prank, a prank they'd been planning since they were six and had just recently perfected the whole thing.

While the pranking Trio were plotting Voldemort was still searching the manor. It was a pity no one had informed him that mint was in fact with Bellatrix so his searching was pretty much a waste of time.

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A massive thank-you giggles O.W.L.'s and N.E.W.T.'s Black-Rose23 The secret trio serenityselena MyHarryPotterAddiction dorina16able sabbs123 For reviewing

Author Note: I know its short, but I promise at least two thousand words for the next chapter. 


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Severus Snape was not looking forward to the weekly order meeting for three reasons. one he'd have to inform the order he was making a de-aging potion for Bellatrix, two he'd have to tell the order that Hermione and the twins plan to bring Bellatrix back to headquarters and three he'd have to explain the pranking trio's friendship with Bellatrix which until now he'd kept it out of his reports.

Severus hadn't told the order about the bond between the pranking trio and Bellatrix because he thought that'd end once Hermione and the twins came back, but with them bring Bellatrix back with them he now had the horrible task of informing Molly Weasley that her sons had befriended a Deatheater.

Severus could hear the Weasley matriarch voice in his head "how could you let my sons and Hermione be corrupted by Deatheater?" like he had any control over who the pranking trio chose to associate with.

Tonks had been the first to give her report on how many Deatheater attacks if any in the last week.  
There hadn't been any at all that week nor had there been any the previous week, the lack of attacks of course was all down to the fact Voldemort was too busy with Hermione and the twins.

Remus filled the order on how many werewolf packs had decided to join Voldemort. Which was most of them not that shocked anybody, the way the ministry treated werewolves it was hardly surprising they chose to side with someone like Voldemort.

Severus tried to delay giving his report for as along as he could until eventually there was no one else left, but him who hadn't given a report.

'Severus any news to report?' Dumbledore asked as he took a lemon drop out of a paper bag.

'This and that' Severus said with a shrug.

'What does that mean?' Sirius asked.

'None of your business' Snape told him.

'Real mature' Sirius said rolling his eyes.

'Here we go' Remus muttered

'Look I have better things to do, so get on with your report Snape' Mad eye ordered

'Fine… Granger and the twins are bugging the hell out of the Dark Lord and I'm making a de-aging for Bellatrix… oh and Granger and the twins are bringing Bellatrix back to Order Headquarters' Snape said really fast.

A collective gasp of "What?" Was heard around the room.

'I think you have some explaining to do Severus' Dumbledore said his sparkling with amusement.

'What's there to explain?' Severus asked

'Oh I don't know… how about that Hermione and my sons want to bring Bellatrix Lestrange to Order headquarters' Molly said using the glare on Severus that she usually used on the twins.

'Bellatrix is their new best friend and if I don't make the potion and Bellatrix doesn't come to headquarters Granger is going to take over the world' Severus said to a glaring Molly.

'Hermione doesn't have the power to take over the world' Remus said looking at Severus with doubt.

'I wouldn't be sure about that Remus, Miss Granger is a very powerful and determined witch' Dumbledore said before popping another lemon drop in his mouth.

'Ha you're both scared of a girl' Sirius laughed earning him a slap around the head from Tonks.

'Well we're all doomed whatever happens' Mad eye said.

'How?' Tonks asked changing her pink hair to blue.

'If Granger takes over the world she'll destroy in an hour and if Bellatrix comes to headquarters we'll have to put up with a crazy de-aged Deatheater, Granger who believes Zombies are going to kill us all and the twins who like to prank people every five seconds' Mad eye said listing how they were all doomed.

Mutters of "we won't survive a month" went around the room. Severus didn't have the heart to tell them twenty six very destructive Panthers would also be accompanying the Pranking Trio and Bellatrix to headquarters.

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Meanwhile back at the Manor of doom (Voldemort residence)

Hermione and the twins were very lucky that Voldemort was still holding on to the firm belief that Harry and the order was going to rescue them eventually or he would of killed them for their latest little stunt.

Voldemorts day had been complete an utter hell and it was all to do with marble fish.

When he woke up he found a marble fish on his pillow knowing it was probably something to with Hermione and the twins he didn't pick it, but unfortunately for him the fish had already been activated as were the other marble fish placed around the manor.

Each fish had been charmed to ask Voldemort a question if he got the question wrong or refused to answer the question a bucket of fish guts and Dragon dung appeared out of nowhere and poured it all over Voldemort.

The first fish asked Voldemort"What is the one thing in the world that Fred Weasley wants more than anything?" The voice of fish sounded a lot like Harry Potter.

Not knowing or caring what was the one thing in the world that Fred wanted Voldemort took a guess and said "A million pieces of candy?".

Voldemort had been wrong the one thing Fred wanted more than anything in the World was a pony .

After taking a shower Voldemort went down to breakfast where he was greeted by the Pranking trio and the second marble fish before Voldemort had even gotten to the breakfast table the second fish asked its question "What does Hermione want to do when she leaves school?" Voldemort was sure he knew the answer and said "Hermione to wants to rule the world".

Yet again he was wrong when Hermione left school she wanted to become Dumbledores beard stylist

Hermione and the twins watched on in amusement as Voldemort got a second bucket of fish guts and Dragon dung poured over him before he stormed off to take his second shower.

Having predicted that Voldemort would need to take a lot of showers they placed a marble fish in his bathroom and charmed it to work specifically after the second fish.

The third fish didn't even bother asking a question it just said "I want a cookie" before Voldemort got doused once again.

Voldemort tried to use one of the other showers in the manor, but somehow Hermione and the twins had sealed all the bathrooms in the manor.

So as a dirty and smelly Voldemort wandered around the manor hoping to find a way to get one of the bathroom doors unsealed he'd used his own, but he didn't trust that stupid fish not to conjure up another bucket of Fish guts and Dragon dung.

Of course being one step ahead of Voldemort they knew he wouldn't try to use his bathroom again and place a marble fish outside the bathroom on the fifth floor and would ask it's question when Voldemort walked past it three times.

The fourth fish asked two questions the first "What is Hermione and the twins favorite food?" And the second "What colour are the socks that George Weasley is wearing right now?".

Voldemort got the first question right. He knew the Hermione and the twins favorite food was candy because they had whined at him enough until he gave them it.

The second question he guessed that George was wearing blue socks,  
but he was wrong George was wearing green sock so once again he was covered in fish guts and Dragon dung.

Everywhere he went Voldemort found a marble fish. He was asked numerous questions all to do with Hermione and the twins. Nine times out of ten he got the answer wrong.

The marble fish prank went on for the whole day and not being able to get a shower was definitely one the things Voldemort found irritating about the whole thing.

While Voldemort was suffering Hermione and the twins were having the time of their lives because Voldemort was too distracted to watch them and he was too distracted to make any Deatheaters watch them.

Which meant without supervision they were being more destructive than usual.

Their first act of destruction was writing Gryffindor rules on the dining room walls, but then deciding that it made the walls look a bit shabby the Pranking trio decided to smash the walls with sledge hammers.

Once they got bored with that they went to the kitchen and got lots of tomatoes from the house elves, so they could throw them at the portraits of Voldemorts ancestors.

Which kept them entertained for all of half an hour when they went in search for something new to amuse them.

By the time the day was through Voldemort smelt worst than a garbage tip and was certain he'd never smell nice or look clean again.

Hermione and the twins had practically destroyed the dinning room. Every picture of Voldemorts ancestors were caked in tomatoes.  
Nagini had been made to drink a hair growing potion and now had a beard which looked aboustly ridiculous on the snake.

Every Deatheater except Bellatrix had received a letter telling them that all the interbreeding their families had done may have kept the blood line pour, but produced morons.

Members of the Order had received letters telling them that if anybody had eaten Hermione packs of cookies from cupboards at headquarters there'd be hell to pay when she came back and if they had eaten them not to even think about replacing the cookies because Hermione would know and she would bite who ever replaced them.

After reading the letters the order held another meeting to discuss who was going to get the blame because someone had eaten Hermione cookies.

The Pranking trio discovered they couldn't walk through walls no matter how much they tried to nor could they kill flies with minds, but they did discover putting photos of Harry all the place really annoyed the hell out of Voldemort.

Voldemort had a hussy fit over the damage that had been done to his home.

Hermione refused to eat vegetables at super time and instead used her vegetables as things to throw at Voldemort.

The twins fought over who was the better looking twin.

All in all the day had been a busy one so Hermione and the twins slept like angelic babies that night.

The same however could not be said for Voldemort or various order members who were dreading what they would have to face once the Pranking trio returned.

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While the order dreaded the Pranking trio's return and Voldemort wished they would go away.

Harry and Ron were looking forward to the return of Hermione and the twins so they could hear all of their tales on how much they had bugged the hell out Voldemort.

They however were not certain on how they felt about Bellatrix returning with Pranking trio, but if Hermione and the twins wanted to bring her with them. Harry and Ron weren't going to be the ones to say no because they knew it wouldn't end well if they did.

It wasn't if Bellatrix was going to be a adult she was going to be a child so she couldn't be that dangerous to anyone and Bellatrix changing sides may even encourage some other Deatheaters to change sides.

Well at least that's what Harry and Ron told themselves trying to be positive rather than negative like the order members who had gone around muttering they were all doomed.

Although Harry and Ron were pretty certain that was more to do with the fact that someone had eaten Hermiones cookies and there was going to be hell to pay when she got home or that's at least what had been in the letters to the Order.

00000000000000000000000000000000 Author Note: what age should I de-age Bellatrix to?

A massive thank-you to Guest Black-Rose23 MyHarryPotterAddiction The secret trio sabbs123 Hermione Is My Role Model JannaKalderash For reviewing. 


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort couldn't believe what he was currently doing. Arguing with Hermione Granger over why she had to eat her breakfast.

Him the most feared wizard of his time arguing with a teenage girl on breakfast was the most important meal of the day what had he been reduced to.

There was a time when he could he make grown men shiver with fear, but now he couldn't even persuade Hermione to eat her porridge.

'Look Granger you're not leaving this table until you've eaten your breakfast' Voldemort said crossing his over his chest.

'I don't want to eat in this room the way you've redecorated the dining room is horrible' Hermione said in a childish voice.

'Well if you and the Weasleys hadn't destroyed this room I wouldn't have to redecorate the room in the first place' Voldemort said counting to ten in his head to stop himself from screaming.

'Why is everything our fault?' Fred asked in a mock hurt tone.

'Because you three are always to blame' Voldemort said.

'Voldie has a point it usually us three' George said agreeing with Voldemort.

'I suppose' Fred told his twin.

'Now you two have agreed that you two and Granger are responsible for things … can we please get back to the matter in hand' Voldemort said through gritted teeth.

'Which is?' George asked with a raised eyebrow.

'Getting Granger to her breakfast or she'll be Moody all day, you know how bad she gets when she skips breakfast' Voldemort said shivering at past memories of how bad Hermione is on an empty stomach.

'Stop talking about me as if I'm not here' Hermione said glaring at the twins and Voldemort.

'It was him not us' the twins said in sync pointing to Voldemort.

'Oh yeah blame me just because your scared of her' Voldemort muttered.

As a punishment for talking about as if she wasn't there Hermione poured her bowl porridge over Voldemorts head, before Storming of.

Voldemort knew then there the day was only going to get worse.

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A massive thank-you to The secret trio the unregistered wolf animagus lovemeforwhoiam Hermione Is My Role Model Persephone Potter Harrys twin jessy3123 MyMPD Is Helpful sabbs123 xXslywolfXx

For reviewing 


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort knew it was a bad idea the moment Hermione suggested it and had no idea why he agreed to it the first place. The only rational explanation he could offer was that Hermione and the twins wanted to annoy someone other than him and he was happy about it.

Hermione had suggested that she and the twins have a little day trip to Harry aunt and uncle's house so they could discuss the way Harry was treated. At first Voldemort said no, but Hermione had a very well reasoned argument.

If she and the twins were at the Dursleys house for the day they wouldn't be annoying him and Harry was his arch enemy so he was supposed to be the one to make Harry's life a misery not the Dursleys.

Agreeing that Hermione had a point Voldemort allowed their little trip, he ordered Lucius to drop them off outsides the Dursleys house and wait outside seeing as the blood wards prevented Lucius from entering.

Which meant that Hermione and the twins were left unsupervised with the Dursleys which now Voldemort could see was a critical mistake.  
Voldemort wanted the wizarding world and wanted to keep the Muggle world very separate which meant not drawing attention to the wizarding world.

Turning a house into a boat and surrounding it with water and turning its three occupations into whales, charming the Words Voldemort did this right above the boat was drawing attention to the wizarding world.

Which was what he had been trying to drill into Hermione and the twins head ever since Lucius had brought them back.

Which was not going well.

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'Are you three even listening to me?' Voldemort asked glaring at the Pranking trio.

'I'm not' Fred said.

'Me neither' George said through a yawn.

'I am' Hermione said gaining the twins and Voldemort attention.

'I Find that surprising Granger…what did I just say?' Voldemort asked curious to whether she had taken in a word he said.

'That you're going to have a sex change to become a woman and you're going to change your name to Mary … which I completely support'  
Hermione said in what she thought sounded like support tone.

'I am not going to have a sex change' Voldemort snarled.

'But, you are changing your name to Mary?' Fred asked.

'No I'm not' Voldemort snapped.

'Well what were you talking about?'  
George questioned.

'It doesn't matter' Voldemort said rubbing the temple of his forehead.

'I thought there was an alien involved' Hermione said completely out of the blue.

'Seriously it's like you 're on another planet Mione ' Fred telling her.

'I know it's what makes me awesome' Hermione said smirking.

'It is' George agreed.  
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Thank-you to Victoire Collins i like cats bookworm .stark The secret trio Gryffenclaw's Princess For reviewing. 


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter

Voldemort had been woken up by the sounds of gigging which meant one thing Hermione and the twins had done something.

Whatever it was it was bound to be in one horrible. Voldemort followed the giggling all the way to the dinning room.

When he walked into the dining room he saw that the Pranking trio and Bellatrix each had a kitten in their arms.

'I'm going to regret asking this, but why do you have kittens and Bellatrix why are you here?'Voldemort asked still half asleep .  
'I had to bring the others because they wouldn't come willingly'  
Bellatrix explained.  
'What others?' Voldemort asked narrowing his in suspicion.  
'Lucius , Yaxley, Rodolphus and Rabastan' Fred said counting of the names with his fingers.

'Where are they?' Voldemort asked getting the familiar fear of impending doom whenever the twins or Hermione were near.

'Their kittens now' Hermione said happily.

'Change them back' Voldemort ordered.

'Um…no' George said smirking.

'We only turned them into kittens so you'd have company us four and the Panthers leave' Fred said feeling a little bit down at the thought of not being there to annoy Voldemort.

'There's only three of you' Voldemort said completely ignoring the fact Fred said when we leave and not when you kill is horribly

'I'm going with them isn't it great' Bellatrix said excitedly.

'No it isn't great you're supposed to be on my side not theirs' Voldemort said his voice coming out like a whiny three year old who'd just had their favorite toy taken away.

'They offered me a lifetime supply of cookies if I switched sides' Bellatrix said shrugging.

'You sold out for cookies' Voldemort said with a shocked expression.

'Yep she did… now if you don't mind its like the middle of the night and I'm tired' Hermione said half yawning.

'No one going to bed until you've turned my Deatheaters back into people and explained to me how you even think that the Order would even let Bellatrix anywhere near them?' Voldemort ordered.

'You want to take this Hermione or should we?' Fred and George asked in sync.

'Go ahead boys' Hermione told the twins.

'One change your own Deatheaters back and two only idiots like you reveal their plans to everyone and then wonders why how everyone knows' Fred and George told Voldemort with a smirk.

'I hate to break up this little party, but I've got to go home' Bellatrix said pouting.

'Bye Trixie' the Pranking trio said perfectly synchronized

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While Bellatrix went home Voldemort argued with Hermione and the twins when it would have been much simpler if he'd just let them go back to bed and changed his Deatheaters back from kittens into humans.  
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Author Note: next chapter Bellatrix will be de-aged.

Thank-you to sabbs123 gypsymooneysgirl7733 MyMPD Is Helpful Theta-McBride Hermione Is My Role Model Crazy Horse Nae Here's7to6never5growing4up Black-Rose23 For reviewing. 


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